AI in 2026: Still Full of Bollocks, But There's Hope

Right. So I've had a look at what's happening in AI this year, 2026, and I'll tell you what — it's a proper mixed bag. Some of it's mental. Some of it's absolute drivel. And most of it is exactly what you'd expect from a bunch of corporations trying to convince you they're still relevant.

Nokia's out here expanding partnerships with TIM Brasil and Deutsche Telekom, pushing AI into telecoms. Look, I get it. Networks need to be smarter. But let's call it what it is — infrastructure bollocks dressed up as innovation. It's not sexy. It's not revolutionary. It's just pipes getting slightly less leaky. Fine. Necessary, even. But don't act like you've reinvented the wheel when you've just fixed a puncture, know what I mean?

Then there's F1. Now THAT'S interesting. They've brought in an AI expert as Tech Director for the biggest rules shake-up in a decade. That's proper biblical when you think about it. The machines are helping write the rules for the machines. There's something beautifully chaotic about that. Something honest. F1's always been about pushing limits, about seeing how far you can go before the whole thing falls apart. And now they've got AI in the room helping decide where that line is. I respect that. That's real. That's someone actually USING the tech instead of just slapping a label on it and charging extra.

MWC 2026 — Mobile World Congress, for the uninitiated — is out here showing off new smartphones and AI gadgets. And I'm sitting here thinking... are we still doing this? Are we still pretending that a phone that can do slightly better voice recognition is somehow a breakthrough? It's not. It's rubbish. It's the same shite different year. Everyone's still treating AI like it's a feature you can tick on a spec sheet instead of a fundamental shift in how we interact with technology. You want innovation? Stop putting AI in your phone and start asking what the phone is even FOR anymore. Simple as.

IBM and Microsoft both put out their "trends to watch" lists for 2026. Seven trends. Various trends. Shape the future. You know the language. It's corporate poetry. Sounds nice. Means nothing. When you have to write a list to explain why what you're doing matters, it probably doesn't. The real shifts don't need explaining. You feel them. They hit you in the gut. You don't need a PowerPoint to tell you something's changed — you just KNOW.

But here's the thing. Underneath all the marketing shite and the press releases and the carefully worded announcements — there's something real happening. AI's not a product. It's a mirror. And it's showing us exactly who we are. The companies that get that — the ones using AI to ask better questions instead of sell more units — they're the ones worth watching. F1 gets it. They're not asking "how can we use AI to make more money?" They're asking "how can AI help us understand what's actually possible?" That's the difference. That's the whole difference.

The rest of them? Nokia, IBM, Microsoft, all these phone manufacturers at MWC? They're still playing the old game. Still treating technology like it's something you package and sell. And maybe that works. Maybe that's how you keep the lights on. But it's not how you change the world. You don't change the world by being careful. You don't change the world by running everything through legal and marketing before you let anyone see it. You change the world by being a bit mental. By taking risks. By saying "fuck it" and building the thing that scares you.

So that's my take on AI in 2026. Most of it's bollocks. Some of it's proper good. The trick is knowing which is which. And the way you know? You feel it. If it moves you, it's real. If it doesn't, it can do one.

There you go.

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